The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D by Nichole Bernier

Author:Nichole Bernier [Bernier, Nichole]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781410453631
Publisher: Wheeler Publishing
Published: 2012-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Elizabeth and Dave’s wedding was a small gathering at an estate home in Georgia. Dave’s brother-in-law Zack read a poem by Pablo Neruda, and Zack’s children were flower girl and ring bearer. Elizabeth was fifteen weeks pregnant. Dave became choked up during the vows; Elizabeth was surprised by her own sadness that her mother could not be there. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we had. Losing your mother before you’re married and have kids just messes with the order of things, a domino effect through the milestones of your life.

Kate could not imagine what it would have been like if her mother had died before James and Piper were born. She had flown in just before each of their births, and sharing the raw, carnal days of early mothering had brought them together in a way that had been lacking. They finally had something in common, she and her cerebral mother who could count on one hand the number of times she’d baked anything, who could become so distracted by the latest psychology journal that the water would boil over and the pasta grow rubbery. Babies were an inexact science. There were no sure fixes to sleeplessness and colic in rigorous study or circular debate, nothing academic about them. Only trial and error, and intuitive touch. In this, Kate and her mother were part of the same tribe, after all.

Tues., August 30, 1994

The resort is a more traditional one than I ever would have picked, but it’s a practical stop-off before the Milwaukee Open. This afternoon I had the most fantastic nap by the pool. Woke up to cold drips on my belly, Dave shaking out his hair above me like a big hairy dog. Then he apologized to the baby and toweled off my belly. I’m wearing a bikini because I damn well feel like it.

I love my little potbelly, love it almost to the point of fetishism. I imagine that the baby can feel it when I rub it. The books say that at this point the baby can respond to light and sounds, can even suck its thumb and breathe amniotic fluid. I can’t wait to feel it move, should be any day now. Can’t wait to see it again at the next sonogram in a week.

The first one was amazing, a mind bender. It was the day after we got engaged, and Dave came to the appointment. The ultrasound screen was dark and grainy like looking into outer space, black and white bands like a crazy solar system snowstorm. Then there it was, a small white ball in the black hole of its own little universe. “That’s the heart,” the tech said, pointing to its pulsing core. A pixilated white light blinking away in spite of my initial denial and neglect. Ping ping ping. We went out to dinner afterward, and he surprised me with a little wrapped-up box, a tiny pair of baby sneakers.

It’s amazing on so many levels: all those years of pills, pretty reliably but very occasionally not, amounts to this in the end.

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